Hard Times

Today I just feel angry. Angry I have hives, angry I have diabetes. I want to eat what I want, I want to exercise when I want. I am discouraged. The last few weeks I've been slacking, eating stuff not ideal for my diet, eating more sugar. My numbers have gone up and I've had to increase my meds (no insulin still). I want to go back to the way I was eating before, but it seems difficult. I don't want to live like this, always swinging back and forth and constantly worrying about my health. Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Last night was the first mindful eating class. It really is a class, not a process group. That was annoying to me. I need a place to process. I guess if I started going to OA again I could meet people that I could call our go out with. My diabetes group can sometimes feel like a process group. That's once a month. Maybe someone in there would be good to talk to. Not so far. I'm so grumpy.