Next: Treatment

Oh my gosh sorry I went almost a month without posting. Turns out the labs for my A1c weren't done the day I thought...the doc wanted a full three months of me doing my food plan before she measured my blood sugar average. So today I did them and I'll find out soon what that number is. In order for me to not "have" diabetes any longer, it must be under 6.5. It was really high when I had tests done right before I started this; a 12. Scary. So I know it will be lower, just not sure how much lower. Regardless, I'm still on medication and have a ways to go before I can get that number on my own.

So about the whole concept of no longer "having" diabetes. Dr. Hyman (dude whose plan I've been following) and other docs say, "You can no longer have diabetes. You can reverse your diabetes." The dietician I'm meeting with says she likes to call it getting your diabetes into "remission." I grappled with that for awhile, then decided there was no need to get caught up in semantics. Kath pointed out, it's like cancer, it can go into remission, but you're more vulnerable because of the initial diagnosis. Which is basically what the dietitian said as well--you'll always have to be careful; you could get it again or not. You can reverse type 2 diabetes but you may be more susceptible to getting it again. So I feel a few ways about that. It makes the most sense, and I can accept it. But part of me believed I could just annihilate my diabetes; never again have to worry about how carbs and sugar would impact my actual health. But overall, it's okay, because maybe it's a sort of blessing in disguise, maybe it's a way I will always remember I have to take care of myself.

And there's that: taking care of myself. I've started the next phase in learning how to do that. I began going to Portland Dialectic Behavior Center. It's like treatment. It is treatment; it's outpatient treatment. I'm in the eating disorder program, which was hard to grasp at first, but my grazing habits did become a form of binging. I'll be doing sort of a combo of the Standard Program and the DBT Eating Disorders Program. I am going to individual counseling weekly. I'm seeing a dietician bi-weekly who specializes in eating disorders and diabetes. And in a couple weeks I'll begin a six-month weekly mindful eating group, which starts out each session eating a meal. Pretty intense. I teach my clients about mindfulness, I teach them DBT skills often. But now I can get support to use these skills on something I have struggled with all these years. And insurance covers it all --I just have small co-pays. So fortunate.

I've been struggling a bit with the food plan. According to Dr. Hyman I have by now officially re-set my metabolism. I've continued the plan mostly. I have started eating dairy and some beans...the hard part still is sugar. It's not hard to avoid bread. Corn chips and popcorn I've started a little of. Although those and dairy are just sort of over-rated. I have a weird after-taste/bad breath thing happen when I have dairy. Corn stuff just tastes meh. Maybe in treatment I can figure out how to eat sugar and not care so much about it or want it all the time. It's about balance. That's all I want in all of my life is just balance and moderation. No extremes, no black and whites.

Augh the HIVES. For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria in 2004. Basically every few years I get hives for no reason, which last months. Sometimes antihistamine regimens help, sometimes not. I've done everything to try to figure it out; allergy testing, diet changes, acupuncture, naturopathy, everything. Blood tests have shown it is not auto-immune related. I can't exercise vigorously because the hives get much worse. Caffeine flares them up as well. I am in "it's not fair" mode. I wanted the food plan to fix everything. It didn't. The most recent bout began last October, finally got under control in January with 3 antihistamines, then flared up again last month. Every morning I wake up with hives all over. Usually by the time I take my now fourth antihistamine and take a shower, they'll have gone down somewhat. So still I'm struggling with walking and not wanting them to flare. But the allergist says to not let them get in the way of mild walks, so I won't.

Whew that was a long one. I hope it wasn't the most boring thing you may have ever read. I still need  support--and I don't know how I could have done that first leg without all of you commenting and emailing and calling. I imagine it will continue to be helpful for me to post, and sort of chronicle my experience of learning mindful and healthy eating. I hope to also start trying new food; perhaps I will post recipes. For now, I am so pleased at how I feel, and look! I want to continue this because it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. PS don't worry guys my hair is brunette, not jet black. This was just the day I got it done.